besides bestowing me with a bachelors that showed me i know shit on anything my alma mater drilled a few things in; “be intentional” … to enjoy or make peace with “freedom within a framework of faith”…and to “major on the major and minor on the minor”.
my last rant was so satisfying. and those 4 things were just a start…stalls on sidewalks and people on the streets, buses/tempos/taxis dropping and picking up passengers anywhere and everywhere, private vehicles parked in the middle of the road, men in suits throwing trash on streets and so on and so forth…
last week i traveled to a few districts in the eastern region with NGO folks and journalists. after working with foreigners in nepal i was eager to be with nepali professionals, but if being treated as a second class citizen in my own country sucked, i am even more frustrated at my temporary colleagues who were of the educated/privileged/”more aware” chunk of my countrymen- the racist remarks and jokes, tossing candy wrappers on the street, showing up late for EVERY SINGLE appointment…
my boyfriend said i have become (even more) “easily annoyed” and snap more at people when it will make no difference. after going to watch rann with him the day i returned from the above mentioned trip, he says he’d prefer not to go to the movies with me anymore (ha ha. well, only sort of).
when i asked why, he said that between me GLARING at the chit-chatters behind us and SHHHing the guy who daredanswer his iphone and murmmering “KASTO KHATE HARU HOLA” not-so-under my breath….he may have a point. so, it got me thinking, what is the point? people in lines, children NOT at 9PM movies, men on pee-ing on the roads and women not pushing each other at sabzi pasals…well, they hardly matter.
for someone as anal as me (i used to organize my books according to color when i was 6 and now according to topic and then according to the alphabetical order of the author/editor), order is so beautiful and such a pleasure and helps us predict things (like who will be served next at the counter) that it makes society happily function-able. but, it turns out that constantly calling people out who push and shove, or answer calls in cinemas, or make rude jokes about madheshis gets me nowhere. i am just frustrated, unpleasant and in the words of my boyfriend “kind of…really bitter” =/
my first month back the nepalbound group met, and a friend from the group invited me to join him and his (american) wife (maybe he is also american, i don’t know) to the american club because it was something along the lines of “such a welcome break from the chaotic city/Kathmandu” (i’m paraphrasing here). i waved the invitation off then thinking i don’t need a break from my city, my country, my people. i thought why would i come to nepal if i didn’t want to be here or if i didn’t enjoy it. but, eight months into it i …no no, won’t beg to be invited..but, i am beginning to understand why americans plant “a little piece of america” wherever they go. the order, the norms, the things as they otherwise ought to be is just so beautiful but un-realizable on the streets and from the people of my beloved city.
in anycase, they really don’t make a difference. it just drives me crazy if i let it. i think from hereon, i will shut up…what do they say? – if you can’t beat ‘em – join ‘em, right? i will push and shove my way to the front, i will make room for men to urinate and yes, please feel free to call me when i’m at the movie – i will no longer have my phone on silent ; )
pukurey
February 8, 2010 at 7:50 pm
Ahhh..I hope you’re only being sarcastic when you say you’ll have your cell phones on and shove people around to make way for yourself… haha…. don’t tell me Kathmandu has gotten under your skin already and that you’re already overwhelmed by the way things are….accept the truths and dare to change it… about the late arrivals of the so-called-NGO-folks, if you still haven’t got this, here’s officially welcoming you to the “NEPALI TIME” as we say it back home..Its more of a disgrace, I think, for people if they show up before time in Nepal, which might suggest that they had nothing better to do than show up at a meeting of some sort or the other(and dude, I am serious when I say this – Nepali haru ta eti busy manhcey haru ho, uni haru sanga kaha time huncha time ma ayipugna lai..tetro kaam kasley gardios…and the funny part, no one does what they are supposed to be doing….)… but yea, while too much ranting and staring won’t help, in a place like ours, the more you endure, the more you’re tried upon (jhan chupo lagyo bhane jhanai thulo soor huncha tini haru kai – I am not that good a translator, but I hope you get the gist.) So, stretch ‘em eyes even wider the next time you stare at someone and hsshhhh someone even loudly when they take their phones out and talk like they’re the only ones there…and yea, incase you don’t find any stones around, at least embarrass the pee-ers with a few words, humiliate them and make them realize that they’re wrong in doing so…though that might not change anything, at least when they think of doing it again, they will think twice !!!
[Reply]
nepaliketi
February 8, 2010 at 8:16 pm
@ pukurey, no, i couldn’t actually bring myself to leave my cell phone on while at the movies or elbow my way through to the front…i will probably go on grumbling out loud and giving my thoughts to anyone that has to listen (for instance,the poor taxi drivers at the domestic airport who every time i get in receive a free lecture on the merits of not suggesting audacious amounts, bargaining – thereby pissing off an already exhausted traveler – and settling on a fare that actually makes sense….that by beginning with a good rate everyone would be happier off). my mouth is too big to shut it up quite like that. but, you know, what i mean is that i have given up on the idea of thing being the way i’d prefer them to me before i die. changes do not happen here all that easily. unless it is for the worse ; )
[Reply]
aru
February 9, 2010 at 6:04 am
i feel your pain. if you want to vent let me know and we can meet up. i also understand the if you can’t beat ‘em then join ‘em part but if i ever hear/see you snorting and grunting (the ‘hyaaaaaaakthu’ noise) before you spit phlegm on the street then i will hit you – i swear i will take of my shoe and hit you. i promise. cross my heat.
tchus
[Reply]
sthapit
February 10, 2010 at 6:45 am
i’ve tried to live by my own standards but being open to people not seeing things your way. loosen up a bit. of course don’t give up your principles but don’t sweat the small stuff – it’s not that important at the end of the day. there are much bigger battles to fight in nepal than trying to stop people answering their cell phones in movie theaters – making sure i have clean water and power for example
as far as nepalis showing up “late” for meetings – it’s totally cultural and the system works due to mutual understanding. if someone asks for a 10am meeting you BOTH know they mean 11am so you’re good – just show up at 11am and everyone is happy. i’ve had the same same experience with my chilean friends and other people i’ve worked with from colombia, brasil etc. basically any south american country. if you show up at 7pm for a 7pm party – you’re not punctual – you’re anal. see what i did there? instead of seeing nepalis as late you can see americans as anal.
lessons i have learnt after being back in nepal for 2 years.
[Reply]
tyo arko nepali keti
February 12, 2010 at 8:27 am
OYE!!! DON’T GIVEN IN!!! I really can’t see you shoving your way onto a bus, but I’ve seen you shove people back
Change has to start somewhere right?…and it’s not easy (it’s actually especially difficult) when you’re the one trying to start the chain reaction of change. In my opinion, we first need to “teach” (or correct) the so called educated people (the ones who can afford the 200rps tickets to Jai Nepal and Kumari), if we can start the right idea with the people who have had exposure to more organized societies, then maybe slowly we can work towards the masses in Nepal. Someone needs to start this movement, I don’t see you piss-on-the-streets rally really picking up, so maybe you could start this up? I’ll back you up, and I’m sure so will all of your avid readers, friends and even the “professional” journalists you got to travel with.
[Reply]
theajnabee
February 16, 2010 at 2:29 pm
Grrrr… racist jokes about Madhesis. It really pisses me off how many people think that this kind of humour is totally acceptable. I know i come from a country obsessed with political correctness but still!!
[Reply]
no one's listening, so i'm writing
February 16, 2010 at 6:26 pm
[...] major on the major, minor on the minor [...]
nepaliketi
February 21, 2010 at 4:48 pm
@ aru, as it so happens that hyaaaaakkkkhhhhuu thing is religious (hindu). i read it! in a real book! (not kidding, check out lynn bennett’s dangerous daughters & sacred sister) but, i couldn’t bring myself to do that so aaal eej well =]
@ sthapit, i know what you mean, but the small things really matter…the fact that ppl can be this inconsiderate and that it’s all accepted here drives me crazy. but, you’re right, i may calm 2 years down the road : )
@ arko nepali keti, =D
@ furbs, NO KIDDING (no pun intended, either!)
[Reply]
I’m in the cinema | The Half Hog
March 11, 2010 at 3:23 pm
[...] and a few comments later on her blog. This message was somewhat retracted under the title of ‘Major on the major, minor on the minor’. Its good college wisdom: focus on the important [...]