potential campaigns i will embark upon to make this world (re: nepal) one tad bit better (i’m only half kidding here. no, seriously):
pebbles for pee!
i am so sick of having to be the one that is embarrassed when i’m not the one aiming at the wall, in a random corner of the street, relieving myself. it’s a little difficult to walk over or wait till public pee-ers are done with their business to tell them how it is wrong to fertilize the sidewalk since it won’t be soaking up any of the nutrients anyway and instead stinks up the street and makes it awkward to walk where pedestrians are meant to walk…so i suggest we launch a campaign wherein people (men AND women. i won’t discriminate. positively or negatively) may throw pebbles at those pee-ing in public. i would discourage rocks since that may be slightly detrimental too future offenders but since this is a risque project i suggest you target the guilty square in the “eye” – just enough to startle them and then annoy them so they think twice before they unzip their pants.
muffle the music
you know when you are sitting in a cafe, enjoying a conversation with a friend, or reading a good book…or when you are in a cramped bus annoyed your face is cramped into some man’s smelly armpit .. and some dude thinks he’s being really hip by blaring de dana dan’s anthem from his cell phone? well, i say you grab it and hur it atthe nearest wall or pour ketchup on it or whatver else you can think to destroy that awful music you didn’t ask to listen to but was forced to! if the one who wanted the music can’t put on a headphones (and spare the others of his terrible tase in music) and won’t share footloose from the stereo atop his/her should like it’s 1987 then you are free to muffle that music!
mouthpiece for movies
oh, how i love, how i dream, how i yearn to hear the baby behind me cry or the ugly dude yell “i’m at JNC!…JNC bhaneko..FILM HERDAI CHHU KYA” into his cell after it provided a double sound track for 40 solid seconds….right before purav hands the secret dvd to amitabh bachan, you know the scene that is the climax of the climax. SERIOUSLY. did we come to the cinema to watch the movie or listen to the girls’ 5-minute long conversation or children whining (why are kids at a 9PM movie?) or phones ring continuously? so, i say, from hereon JNC/Kumari (basically, whoever charges enough that the pretentious my-brother-is-in-america storms in with their gold laden fingers and over permed hair) provide a mandatory mouthpiece to every movie viewer. yes, it is not hygenic. yes, it is actually quite weird. but, at least we can do what we came to do at the cinemas…watch the movie.
elbow for barging
i am not talking about lines at sundhara for the 7:30pm bus headed to jawalakhel. i am not referring to the crowd at mandir during puja. i am referring to people who get in lines anywhere else in the world but nudge, push and barge ahead at places where there are obvious, or ought to be obvious lines, in nepal. clearly, we would receive our tickets faster and token cards with less annoyance if we took turns. imagine that. taking turns. yes, one after another. the first person ahead get served. then the second. then the third. yes, it can work like that in nepal as it can elsewhere. i’m certain of this, because i’ve witness you flaunt your abilities to do so at embassies and overseas. from now on, partakers of this campaign can happily, confidentally, and with the support of a thousand other line lovers ELBOW – deep and hard into those that dare and try barge ahead.
….. so, are you with me? shall we sign a petition? shall we declare a bandh? shall we embark upon this task to make this world one little bit better… with small pebbles, runny ketchup, stinky mouthpieces and sharp elbows?
nepali
February 6, 2010 at 8:30 pm
Open Air Urinals are fast becoming so commonplace, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Election Commission awarded some new party on the block as its election symbol a silhouette of someone using one. Pebbles in a slingshot for good measure perhaps?
So I take it you haven’t been around people who let one, or many (depends on how much peanuts they’ve chewed, I guess) rip in a theater. Babies crying will feel like a warm sunny afternoon in Poush/Magh after that ordeal.
How about the No-Look Pedestrians? You know the ones that walk right through to you to get to the next yard. Aye to a Bandh!
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ryan
February 6, 2010 at 8:52 pm
hmm..for some reason I didnt’ realize you moved to wordpress, and so I havent read anything you’ve written in the past… oh… 7 months.
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Richard
February 7, 2010 at 4:49 am
I’m in.
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malika47
February 8, 2010 at 4:37 am
You crack me up. And yes, I know how those things annoy every one of us. The lines, that happened everywhere. I also actually walked the sidewalk on Pulchowk (near Krishna Galli) every day for ten years- talk about seeing men peeing out in the open.
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Shrochis
February 8, 2010 at 5:49 pm
On the first issue, I do think we need more public toilets, and non-stinky ones at that, to be able to effectively address the problem. I agree that it should be unacceptable to “do your business” wherever you want, but sometimes it can be hard not to return “nature’s call”. Now, I realize that where there are public toilets, the same “public” abuses it beyond use, but unless local businesses provide these facilities as public service (as they do abroad), I am not sure what our options are.
Enough of my rambling. Very interesting read though, as always. Keep at it!
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nepaliketi Reply:
February 8th, 2010 at 5:54 pm
@ shrochis: i agree. public toilets would be a start (and perhaps the finish too) but, if women have but no option to put nature’s call on hold…why don’t men as well?
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tundal45
February 9, 2010 at 5:48 pm
The common source of all these problems is the sheer disregard for others. Unless we develop a habit of thinking through the effects of our actions on others around us, these & many other problems will continue to happen.
The issue with lines is something that I have had a lot of experience with. One such incident happened at Bhat Bhateni Super Market checkout counter. I was in line and there was some guy from USAID behind me when another individual felt that it was completely ok for him to ignore all of us who were waiting in line and just go straight to the checkout counter. What was more shocking was that the store clerk at the checkout counter decided to take care of him before others in line. When the guy behind me chose to point this out & tell people how rude & unacceptable what just happened is, the only person who shared his sentiment in the entire store was me.
I am not saying I am perfect. I should have spoke even before this guy but I was trying to figure out if I should be the me who has learned to value lines & behave as a civilized human being or if I should behave as the nepali keta that was completely ok with this behavior.
The thing is that I can’t blame the check out clerk too much as well. First of all, the guy who decided to cut the line is fully at fault. Secondly, all of us who had to suffer because of that but still decided to not speak up are at fault for letting that kind of behavior happen. Finally, the management of the store is at fault for not giving the clerks the power to deny that person the service until he waits for his turn in line.
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theajnabee
February 16, 2010 at 2:05 pm
Bandh against annoying electricians and young men working for internet companies who come to your place, gawp at you, pick their noses (and no doubt wipe it on the keys of your laptop) and do no work apart from decimating the wiring in your house… leaving you without functioning electricity for days and nececitating.. guess what… another visit.
Someone should start a company that sends only FEMALE electricians to their clients. Surely some NGO can train some unemployed girls in this? Because i know a lot of women both Nepali and videshi would appreciate the opportunity not to be ogled and generally messed around by useless men every time there is an electrical problem that needs to be sorted. Grrrrrrr….
Ahhh, feels good to rant.
I agree with other posters that a complete lack of respect for others is the problem at the heart of all this
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I’m in the cinema | The Half Hog
March 11, 2010 at 3:15 pm
[...] Nepaliketi (Nepaligirl) ranted about this on her blog some days back, along with men pissing against walls in the street, queue barging and lateness. Her [...]
kgb
October 4, 2010 at 12:12 pm
hahahaha. yes, yes, i am in!
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runil
October 9, 2010 at 2:54 pm
Haha! I was reminded of this Calvin and Hobbes pic about peeing… Classic… Oh, oh, anytime you decide to make your pebbles for pee cause official, lemme know. I already have an idea for the logo: Calvin is peeing, with his evil grin, and then he is being stoned, and he’s bleeding. Moral of the story: HEY PEE-PEE ers! IF YOU PEE IN PUBLIC, YOU DIE!!! GEDDIT? IF YOU PEE IN PUBLIC, U ARE DEAD– LITERALLY, AND YES WHEN I SAY LITERALLY I MEAN LITERALLY NOT FIGURATIVELY!!!
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runil Reply:
October 9th, 2010 at 2:55 pm
…the link is here…
https://jthewonderllama.files.wordpress.com/2009/08/calvin.jpg?w=332&h=375
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nepaliketi Reply:
October 9th, 2010 at 4:12 pm
i wish i could ‘like’ this comment! yes, when i round up ammunition (a mountain of pebbles) and an army, you will be recruited ; )
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